But traditions don't have to be formal decisions made by a family and done once a year. When I do laundry I fold my clothes in a certain way because that is how my mom folded clothes. I learned by watching, not an exact education or demonstration. As another example, getting an education is important to me because of what my parents have always said. They read many books and stressed going to school and getting good grades. Because of their example I now am in college earning a degree in English. Gaining an education is important to me, and I want to someday have an intelligent husband. I have certain standards that need to be met. Traditions, in these ways, have played an important part in my life.
So traditions are more than just the way we celebrate holidays or an opening number for a musical. They mold us into who we are and how we act. Traditions are inherited patterns of thoughts, beliefs, or behaviors, and some of these are not always the best. In Strengthening Our Families it says, "When conceived in principles of righteousness, and when performed in a spirit of non coercive participation, a heritage of family customs can serve as the social glue that holds families together, ushers family members through difficult life passages, and weaves loving ties of eternal duration" (1). Good traditions then uplift a family and the generations to come. Elder Richard G. Scott said, "Where traditions and customs are in harmony with His teachings, they should be cherished and followed to preserve your culture and heritage" (2).
However, negative ones such as abuse, laziness, or bad habits can bring down generations from just one person's choice. For example "males who witnessed severe marital abuses between their parents were nearly ten times more likely to abuse their spouses than those who had not witnessed such abuse" (3). Children will sometimes mimic the way their parents have acted. "Children of abusive parents may imitate abusive modes of interaction that they witnessed in their homes if they are not taught to use more appropriate, non-abusive ways to express emotion or resolve disagreements" (4). I once had a friend whose parents would just walk off from each other and stop talking if there was a disagreement. When we would interact he would do the same thing to me and mimic the way his parents acted when we argued. He had gained a pattern of action from his parents, though it was a negative tradition that affected him.
Even religions and other sources can pass on patterns of behaviors. In the LDS church, it is a tradition to hold families in high honor and importance. We base our lives around our families; the career, school, life choices, all center on this focal point. We believe we should treat each other kindly, with sympathy, and to serve one another. I believe that many religions have similar views, where loving on another and serving is extolled. The Dalai Lama said, "All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion, and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives".
How do we preserve our traditions? Some of them may be passed down by example, from each generation to the next. But one of the best ways is to keep a journal. Elder L. Tom Perry said, "If we will build righteous traditions in our families, the light of the gospel can grow ever brighter in the lives of our children from generation to generation.... Our family activities and tradition can be a beacon to the rest of the world as an example of how we should live to merit His choice blessings and live in peace and harmony" (5). If we pass down our traditions and the good that happened in our lives in the written form, most likely this record will not be lost. The record will benefit generations to come.
I'm not the best at journal keeping. But after reading and learning about keeping traditions I'm making it a goal to keep a much better record of what happens in my life. I want to write down the insights I have, the little miracles, the hardships, and the blessings so that maybe my children or grandchildren can benefit from my example (though I may not be the best one).
1. Dollahite. Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family. Brigham Young Universities, 2000). Pg. 314.
2. Richard G. Scott (1998, May), Removing barriers to happiness, Ensign, 28(5), 85-87.
3. Straus, Gelles, Steinmetz et al. (1980)
4. Dollahite. Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family. Brigham Young Universities, 2000). Pg. 255).
5. L. Tom Perry (1990, May), Family traditions, Ensign, 20(5), 19-20.
6. Image: http://notesfromtheintern.wordpress.com/2010/12/08/late-night-calls-bloggin-addiction-and-bad-cinema/
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