It was interesting to go to my Family class and discuss abuse in the family. It is a difficult subject to breach because, to be honest, it is sort of icky and sometimes the truth of a situation is sobering and hard to hear. For me, I feel deep sorrow in cases of abuse. I want to be respectful and reverent whilst talking on this subject.
Abuse comes in many form--physical, mental, emotional, and sexual. Most often they can be clumped together in the category of neglect. Neglect, and all forms of abuse affect a person in so many ways: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.
This past January until April I worked for Walt Disney World as an attractions Cast Member. Since I was in Fantasyland I cam in contact with so many children each day. And I saw countless instances of children being abused by parents. Kids, wives, husbands; it did not matter what age or gender--I saw many cases of abuse. It was one of the saddest sights I've ever seen.
It confuses me that anybody would want to hurt a loved one, especially a family member. In Strengthening Our Families it says, "The family is ordained of God as the indispensable human community whose primary objective is to assist us in achieving our eternal destiny, which is to live again with our heavenly parents. To that end, each of us has a responsibility to nurture other family members and to foster their eternal growth" (1). However, this is where the most violence is. "The group [family] to which most people look for love and gentleness is also the most violent civilian group in our society" (2).
However, at the same time it does not confuse me that abuse is so pervasive in society. I work in a call center and people can be as mean as sin. And if they are that mean to a total stranger, how do they act in their own homes? I know this may be a bad example since it is telemarketing and nobody likes telemarketers, but that does not excuse screaming or swearing at someone over the phone.
Abuse, in any form, is terrible because it belittles another individual. It ruins their self-confidence, makes them feel invaluable, and diminishes their sense of divinity. President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "You cannot abuse your little ones without offending God.... Any man who beats or in other ways abuses his children will be held accountable before the great judge of us all" (3).
The family is where you grow, learn, develop, build relationships, and learn how to interact wish others. You learn how to become a father or mother and raise children and take care of households. When there is abuse the healthy education is not created. As the abused children grow older, in many cases, the abuse is continued and passed on to their children. It is a vicious cycle that will not stop until a family member stands up to it and says it is not right.
The main thing to understand is that we are children of God. We are literal sons and daughters of deity, and we have infinite worth. As such, we need to remember that we have divine roles and purposes. In Doctrine and Covenants 18:10 it says, "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;". If we do remember this, that we are of infinite worth, we can treat each other likewise. Let us put the golden rule into effect.
As a final word, I want to quote from Strengthening Our Families again. "We must be on guard to keep our attitudes and actions from escalating into abuse. we must also be prepared to help ourselves, our families, and other take appropriate steps to end abuse when it occurs in our relationships. Understanding and acknowledging the effects of abuse, when it has occurred, is the beginning of restoring spiritual wholeness and healthy family relationships" (4).
1. Dollahite. Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family. Brigham Young University, 2000. Pg. 253.
2. M. A. Straus, R. J. Gelles, and S. K. Steinmetz (1980), Behind closed doors: Violence in the American family (Garden City, NY: Anchor), 80.
3. Gordon B. Hinckley (1985), May, To please our Heavenly Father, in Conference report, 50.
4. Dollahite. Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family. Brigham Young University, 2000. Pg. 254.
5. Image: http://dumbdumbwaiting.blogspot.com/2010/11/i-am-talkin-to-shawn-while-posting-this.html
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