Attractions

Same-sex attraction. This is a difficult topic to talk about only because it is so controversial. There is a taboo against mentioning it in most LDS families. It is difficult to find the right words to express yourself when your topic is kept in silence.

We discussed a few different theories in class about same-sex attraction. One theory, by Daryl Bem, was that it develops through a series of events. The temperament of a child, how they were raised, who they played with (or did not play with), and the longing for intimacy can affect attraction to different genders. But I would disagree with a point that was brought up in class. We talked about how perhaps through explaining this theory to those dealing with same-sex attraction those individuals may change their orientation. This could happen. It perhaps has happened. However, I would argue that this theory does not pertain to all situations.

I’m going to say that some people are simply born with sexual attraction to those of the same gender. This doesn’t make them bad people.  (I’m just going to talk about those in the church to keep things simple). In the LDS perspective, if you are chaste (meaning you don’t have sexual relations outside of marriage) and keep the commandments and other covenants you have made, you are okay. You are a worthy temple-recommend holding individual. And I know that in some cases this is seen as shocking.

But it all makes sense. We are all given challenges. We are here to be refined. Some people deal with being sexually attracted to those of the same sex. Is that any different than people who are more susceptible to pornography or sexual thoughts the opposite gender? Or people prone to addictions of other kinds? People are born with those things, so why should same-sex attraction be any different?

One could argue that people develop and learn sexuality. We are sexual beings with natural desires and the need for intimacy. We don’t come out of the womb saying “I like men. Yay”, but through time we become learn attraction. And I would definitely agree with that. You are molded by the environment around you, by what you see and what you are taught to be attracted to. The portrayal of nudity/eroticism of men versus women in art is very different and may be the cause of different attractions. (The poster of The Avengers is very blatant about this and is revealed further with The Avengers poster if the gender positions were reversed). I could go on a huge rant about male and female nude depictions in art, but that’s a whole different topic that is very interesting that I don’t have time for.

So, in the end, I would say that Bem’s theory is correct. However, the theory that you could be born with same-sex attraction could also be correct.